originally published November 15, 2015
first. then you can help others. isn't that what they tell you on the airplane? these days, I am really beginning to understand what this means. In general, women nurture. it's our nature. It is so easy to get caught up in what those around us need, that often we neglect our mental, physical and spiral health. now don't laugh at me, but I have a little secret. today (well actually yesterday) was my first time getting a real professional massage and facial. I know, I know...you ladies out there who have been 'hip to the game' are gasping for air and clutching your pearls. you wouldn't believe how nervous I was even scheduling my services. see, over time, my weight has slowly caused me to retreat from doing certain things. and this is the kicker, it wasn't because I was ashamed or embarrassed for the massage therapist to see my body, but that I was going to uncomfortable because of my large breasts and large frame, laying there on the table.
the other side to this coin is that I have subconsciously trained myself to believe that I don't deserve certain things until I become my ideal weight...whatever that is. but today was different, it was a lesson for me. A lesson is taking care of what God has given me (read blessed me with)- my body, to the best of my ability. the massage and facial were BOMB. very therapeutic, relaxing; you know, everything you would expect one to be. but as I lay there bare one that table, one thing was really clear; I have missed out. Always waiting for tomorrow, or the perfect circumstances. because I have told myself that I am not worthy because of my weight, or attached some lofty goal, with a ridiculous time frame for which to complete to something as simple as a pedicure, I have let my weight control me.
today was necessary for so many reasons. and dropped a few gems on my spirit in the process.
1). getting a little time away is important.
- like most if you, I have a life that requires that I give most of me to others on a daily basis. Whether that is husbands, kids, work, friends - life happens. but I cannot forget to take a little time EVERYDAY to center, talk to God and be present regarding my life.
2). I cannot allow my perceived inadequacies to hold me hostage.
for so many years I have made myself promises (and broke them all) about how I would take care of myself, and what I would do if.... I am learning to just enjoy life today, and the skin I am in. Taking care if myself is a choice. Fear is a choice. I can't be a prisoner in my own mind or body about even one thing. I have to live.
3). spas a cool but...
-every thing in my life doesn't have to be 'go hard or go home.' today was a treat because I am on an annual girls trip with one of my closest friends since high school. but a walk, trip to the local drug store, shoot locking the bathroom door and turning the music up real loud, will do too. the point is I don't have to wait for these big grand gestures to take care of myself.
4). but on the flip side, luxury and pampering are okay too. choices.
- again choices. listen, I can't do this every week, or every month for that matter. They way my accounts are set up...well let's just say, yeah no..ha ha ha! However, I think back to how many times I have had dinner away from my house and how I could have paid for the spa 10 ten times over this year. I have made food my celebratory 'go to' for so long, that it became the norm. get a new client - eat. buy a new house - eat. get pregnant - eat (okay, maybe that one is legit). Eat, eat, eat. well I am changing my mindset...spa, spa, SPA! rewarding myself in other ways now.
I know this is no big revelation for some of you, and for that I say congratulations. my issue is not knowing it, but doing it. I have to remind myself to be about it, instead of talking about it.'
In what ways do you save yourself first? where you you duck off to and hide out? lol, let me know. love you guys.
In optimal health and love,
thanks to the ladies at Milan Day Spa - Savannah. I wanted to pack them up and put them in my purse..yasss!